Ellie, the younger twin, was fighting the bottle. She’d take the nipple. Chew and suck. Then spit out milk and pout. It was frustrating.
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Jen took her. Ten minutes later the bottle was emptied. I asked Jen what she did to make Ellie eat. She told me. I barely believed her. She did it again the next time. It worked. And it still does.
Jen encouraged Ellie. She’d tell her in a sweet voice how good she was being and what a good little eater she was. Ellie ate. No problems.
Obviously, Ellie didn’t understand the words. She’s 9 weeks old. The tone and the intent mattered.
The same is true in how we communicate with adult. “Nice job, Ronnie” means something completely different when said with a kind smile vs a sneer and rolled-eyes. The tone and the intent matter. Also, we can directly support a change in a persons behavior with a positive and encouraging tone and approach.
Ellie and Jen taught me to encourage when I don’t feel like it. And to do it even when it’s not yet “earned.”
Life’s more nourishing when I do.
Related articles
- What Your Boss Needs to Know About Engagement (blogs.hbr.org)
- Finding Grace (ericwarheit.com)
- Cool and the Corporation (blogs.hbr.org)
