I messed up. The clicker sounded. I knew it was coming. Feedback is part of the process. It was my first and last "um" of the speech. I was delivering an impromptu "Table Topic" speech at Toastmasters. Toastmasters uses active and impartial feedback to help speakers improve. "Um", "so", "and" are utterances that can receive a click. All speech issues are counted and reported on. Feedback comes in either real-time or before the one-hour meeting completes. Later in the day I met my … [Read more...]
A Hot and Happy Mother’s Day
May 16, 2018 by
Mother's Day started at 3:41 am. "Eric, the air conditioner isn't blowing cold air." Jen and I get up. We walk through the house. I fumble with the thermostat. Jen checks outside to see if the unit is freezing (that happened a few years ago). We don't find anything wrong. I'm tired and frustrated. "What am I supposed to do to fix this at 3:41 am?", I think to myself. My lack of HVAC competency increases my irritability. Latent insecurity belies a lousy attitude. Powerless to … [Read more...]
Don’t Feel Like It? Do It Anyway!
April 17, 2018 by
"You don't get what you want by doing what you want," I told her. This might be a bit advanced for a six-year-old. This is the hand my kids were dealt. A dad who speaks in platitudes. A dad who tries to program his kids with a way of thinking that makes their life easier in the long run by doing what's hard in the short run. Sometimes I have to listen to my own advice. I wrote about what I learned about smiling last week. This weekend, I learned I need to persist when I don't feel like it. I … [Read more...]
What Happens When You Smile?
April 10, 2018 by
I smiled at her. She relaxed. I kept looking at her with a soft toothless smile. Her eyes widened a bit. She smiled back, disarmed. Her face said, "You see me and you like who you see." Her response evokes joy from me. A small virtuous circle swirls upward. This happened with both my girls, Evie and Ellie. It's occurred multiple times. It's part of an experiment I'm doing. I started experimenting with shaping my environment this year. The experiment consists of new … [Read more...]
The Power of Gratitude
March 7, 2018 by
I schedule to leave for my kids PTA meeting and singing performance at 4. I maintain a weak boundary. Two conversations and a couple of emails later I leave at 4:36. I'm harried. I get to the glass doors to leave. The sky opened up between the time I planned to leave and the time I finally leave. The rain is Biblical. It pours with ferocity. I walk 200 yards to my car. My pants and shoes are drenched. My boxers are wet; despite using an umbrella. I drive through the deluge. I make it home. … [Read more...]
Can You Get Better By Grace?
September 18, 2017 by
T The blood drained from my face. I felt ashamed. I thought she was texting. I snarled, "Is that related to what we're working on now?" Michelle looked up. Taken aback and off balance, she replied , "I'm taking notes on what you're saying so I can remember later. I didn't want to take down the presentation I'm projecting to take notes." I apologized. Michelle said, "It's okay." "No, it's not," I replied. I apologized again. "It's fine." Again, I said, "No, it's not." … [Read more...]
You Think You’re Present Until This Happens
September 11, 2017 by
Embed from Getty Images I start each day with a thimble full of patience. The thimble was empty. We decided the day would be TV free for the girls - we have twin 5 year olds. Instead we'd listen to music, sort out the Legos and the playroom and review language and letters. The kids were good all day. Yes, they fought with each other from time to time. Other than the occasional scream or whine, they were good. But the sounds never stopped. I learned how much we've relied … [Read more...]
Change Is Gonna Come
September 1, 2017 by
I read the quote nearly every day. It dangles at the bottom of his emails. Each time I read it, I feel a flush of regret of the inertia in the past and present; the dread of a future where the truth of the quote compounds with interest. The quote reads: "Every day you don’t do something, it makes it less likely that you will ever do something." What gets in the way of the doing something is either a lack of clarity of purpose or a lack of faith. Some may be uncomfortable with the … [Read more...]
Here’s What You Can Control
September 26, 2016 by
Embed from Getty Images Ellie's face turned maroon. "I'm angry!," she screeched. She was playing a board game with her twin four year old sister, Evie. Ellie gets intense. I'd never seen her this irate. Why was she angry? No other reason than her sister was ahead of her on the board. That was deemed unfair. I calmed her down. She resumed playing. The girls proceeded to butcher the game. I resisted my urge to control and correct. I let them play on, refereeing only … [Read more...]
Today Is A Good Day for No Words
July 8, 2016 by
Reid said, "I normally don't have a loss for words." I replied awkwardly, looking for something to say. "Today's a good day for no words." Reid was at the Peace Rally the night before. He drove out of the parking garage, where one of the snipers was setup, 25 minutes before the assault on the police and protesters began. It's the day after five police officers were killed in Dallas. My wife, Jen, and I were at the noon prayer vigil at Thanks-giving Square in downtown Dallas. This is … [Read more...]
