Mother's Day started at 3:41 am. "Eric, the air conditioner isn't blowing cold air." Jen and I get up. We walk through the house. I fumble with the thermostat. Jen checks outside to see if the unit is freezing (that happened a few years ago). We don't find anything wrong. I'm tired and frustrated. "What am I supposed to do to fix this at 3:41 am?", I think to myself. My lack of HVAC competency increases my irritability. Latent insecurity belies a lousy attitude. Powerless to … [Read more...]
Who Cares About What You Do?
February 25, 2014 by
It doesn't matter what you do. It matters what you do does. It matters what the impact of what you do has on your Customer, client, friend, son, mother or husband. The more impact, the better (Hopefully, that impact is positive). You say, "I talk to my wife 6 times a day. I'm a good husband." Great! Good for you. What's the impact? Maybe she wants you to leave her alone. Maybe you're driving her freakin' bonkers. It's not about what you do. It's about what is create by what you … [Read more...]
What Could You Achieve With Crushing Authority?
April 25, 2013 by
Rob started telling me about the cool stuff he was producing at work. His team is building things that would cost millions to buy. I was impressed with what his team accomplished. I asked him his secret. His team saw problems. They created solutions. Rob's job was easy. Just say "Yes." No one told them to do it. They just did it. Rob let them. More than that... he encouraged them. Rob didn't try to manage his people (or their tasks). He led his people and their … [Read more...]
Want More Success? You’ll Have To Do This 1 Thing
March 14, 2013 by
Will said, "They won't do it! Have you read Sven's email. He said 'No.'" I asked Will, "Have you spoken to them?" "No." I Instant Message Sven. I bring up the situation, apologize for any way we miscommunicated in the past, and ask when there'd be a good time to chat. Sven sent his phone number. We had a quick conversation and set up a meeting with a couple of other folks from his team. Sven's "No" turned to "Maybe." Two more conversations and we got to "Yes." We … [Read more...]
4 Reasons To Kiss When You’re Angry
September 24, 2012 by
Jen told me about a friend who hadn't kissed her husband in 4 days. They were angry with each other. That seemed odd to me. It seemed like they were dooming themselves to fail. It's Easy to Stay Angry. It's Hard to Move Forward. It's easy to get angry with someone. It's easy to embrace our anger. And it's easy to become justified and obsess about how we're right and they're wrong. It's hard to get past it if being angry is what you focus on. There are so many people and … [Read more...]
What are you making believe?
July 26, 2012 by
A client turned around his shop's performance. He reshaped his team. He got them lined up with his plan and his vision. He did it in under 3 months. I asked him how he did it. "By making it believable." I asked him what he meant by that. He said, "people need to see before they believe. We're not where we need to be yet. I'm what they see". A team won't follow a leader unless the leader believes in where their team is going. People who lead others successfully make the … [Read more...]
Who are you to decide?
June 13, 2012 by
"She's not interested," is what I thought to myself. I use my calendar for a to do list. If something doesn't get done, I just drag it to another day. I looked over calls I didn't make yesterday, dragging them to new time slots. I picked this idea up from Peter Bregman. I was setting up my calendar for the day. I didn't want to move this call to another day. I wanted to leave it behind. I made the decision for her. My stomach sank the moment the thought, "She's not … [Read more...]
Ask, Don’t Tell?
June 12, 2012 by
My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people. They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart. He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago. He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan. The people make the plan happen. They might be inconvenient to work with. But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]
How much is pain worth?
June 11, 2012 by
He said, "You know how we have to protect the foundation. Sometime we have to be aggressive." I was talking to a friend I used to work with. He worked on a team that had an us vs. them mentality. It created issues sometimes. They didn't always ask the questions they needed answered when they're customers approached them with a project. Then their customer would surprise them with a last minute requirement ... one that might have been revealed with the questions that didn't get … [Read more...]
What why are you giving?
June 6, 2012 by
I learned recently that babies won't work too hard to eat. They'll stop eating if their nipple makes them work to get the milk. We learned this because our girls stopped eating a few weeks ago. We bought new nipples with higher flow. They ate faster than ever. Babies don't know that food is worth something. So they won't work too hard for it. Show your team why it's worth doing what you're asking to do. Give them a big why. Or they might just act like babies. … [Read more...]
