I messed up. The clicker sounded. I knew it was coming. Feedback is part of the process. It was my first and last "um" of the speech. I was delivering an impromptu "Table Topic" speech at Toastmasters. Toastmasters uses active and impartial feedback to help speakers improve. "Um", "so", "and" are utterances that can receive a click. All speech issues are counted and reported on. Feedback comes in either real-time or before the one-hour meeting completes. Later in the day I met my … [Read more...]
What Happens When You Smile?
April 10, 2018 by
I smiled at her. She relaxed. I kept looking at her with a soft toothless smile. Her eyes widened a bit. She smiled back, disarmed. Her face said, "You see me and you like who you see." Her response evokes joy from me. A small virtuous circle swirls upward. This happened with both my girls, Evie and Ellie. It's occurred multiple times. It's part of an experiment I'm doing. I started experimenting with shaping my environment this year. The experiment consists of new … [Read more...]
Who Cares About What You Do?
February 25, 2014 by
It doesn't matter what you do. It matters what you do does. It matters what the impact of what you do has on your Customer, client, friend, son, mother or husband. The more impact, the better (Hopefully, that impact is positive). You say, "I talk to my wife 6 times a day. I'm a good husband." Great! Good for you. What's the impact? Maybe she wants you to leave her alone. Maybe you're driving her freakin' bonkers. It's not about what you do. It's about what is create by what you … [Read more...]
Learn This Easy Magic Trick. It’s quick!
June 24, 2013 by
I walked in the door to the office this morning. Joe, the security guard, waved and smiled. I caught him in the corner of my eye, over my shoulder. I turned and waved back. A smile crossed my face. I realized this was a ritual that started my day with pleasure. It was small. But valued. I stopped, turned around, and walked to Joe. I opened the glass door to the small reception area where Joe sits. I told Joe how much I appreciated his wave and smile in the morning. I … [Read more...]
This Test Is Pass/Fail. Do You Pass This Test?
May 22, 2013 by
I've asked a lot people if they want a more significant and meaningful life. Every person I ask says 'Yes'. They may be lying. After all, it's a loaded question. Who really wants to tell someone, "Eh, I really don't give shit ... I'm good enough." Or they may be answering from the core of their soul. Looking at how people live tells me it might be somewhere in between. Or they just don't know how. At least not consistently. What about you? How do you qualify yourself? What … [Read more...]
4 Keys to Amaze Your Customer
October 1, 2012 by
Last week, Jen "asked" me to donate it. The time had come. I had to say goodbye to my old friend. The 98 Lincoln. It had 260,000 miles on it. And it had a few issues. Some larger than others. The Lincoln had sit in front of the house for a month. I hate to say goodbye. I called the Dallas CAN Academy. They support education for students who struggle in traditional learning settings. One way they do this is by taking donated cars. They provided one of the … [Read more...]
What would you say?
July 27, 2012 by
"Well, what I would say is..." I caught myself. I groaned quietly. I thought to myself, what's it mean to say, "What I would say is..."? Of course you would say it. You're saying it! Why do we add it? Are we weakening what we're about to say because we don't want to commit? Are we showing deference or sensitivity to our listener? Are we avoiding conflict? "I'm not really saying this... but if I were to say something, this is what I'd say." I stopped. I … [Read more...]
What are you making believe?
July 26, 2012 by
A client turned around his shop's performance. He reshaped his team. He got them lined up with his plan and his vision. He did it in under 3 months. I asked him how he did it. "By making it believable." I asked him what he meant by that. He said, "people need to see before they believe. We're not where we need to be yet. I'm what they see". A team won't follow a leader unless the leader believes in where their team is going. People who lead others successfully make the … [Read more...]
Out of the eyes of babes
July 12, 2012 by
Jen walked out of the girl's room. Ellie in her arms. She just woke up. Her eyes swollen with sleep. I sat on the couch, typing away. Ellie looked at me for a glance. Then she stared at the laptop. It's a reflex. If we're looking at our phones, the girls look at our phones. TVs on, same thing. We're drawn to the glow of technology. Hypnotized. Flashing lights. Distraction. Detachment. It's our innate state. We think we're in control. We think we're choosing where … [Read more...]
Ask, Don’t Tell?
June 12, 2012 by
My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people. They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart. He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago. He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan. The people make the plan happen. They might be inconvenient to work with. But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]
