My wife, Jen, was exasperated with me. I don't remember what the back and forth was about. There are too many times to choose from. "You're so hard to please!" she said. "No, I'm not. I'm easy to please ... I'm just easier to displease." This is not the best thing to think about myself. I give power to factors out my control. Then I feel a reduced sense of power and control in my life. This leaves me displeased. There are a lot words for this. I'll call it … [Read more...]
Ask, Don’t Tell?
June 12, 2012 by
My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people. They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart. He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago. He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan. The people make the plan happen. They might be inconvenient to work with. But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]
How much is pain worth?
June 11, 2012 by
He said, "You know how we have to protect the foundation. Sometime we have to be aggressive." I was talking to a friend I used to work with. He worked on a team that had an us vs. them mentality. It created issues sometimes. They didn't always ask the questions they needed answered when they're customers approached them with a project. Then their customer would surprise them with a last minute requirement ... one that might have been revealed with the questions that didn't get … [Read more...]
How are you making it easier?
June 7, 2012 by
I'm beating this horse this week. The girls stopped eating. We found out their bottles flow rating was too low. Babies won't work too hard to eat. They'd rather not eat ... then drive their parent crazy as the scream because they're hungry. We bought them new nipples. They make it much easier for the girls to eat. They started eating more than before and 3 times faster. It's easy to get caught up in make the tool or the process 'perfect.' If it makes people work too hard, they … [Read more...]
What why are you giving?
June 6, 2012 by
I learned recently that babies won't work too hard to eat. They'll stop eating if their nipple makes them work to get the milk. We learned this because our girls stopped eating a few weeks ago. We bought new nipples with higher flow. They ate faster than ever. Babies don't know that food is worth something. So they won't work too hard for it. Show your team why it's worth doing what you're asking to do. Give them a big why. Or they might just act like babies. … [Read more...]
Are you putting the pieces of the puzzle together?
June 4, 2012 by
Jen was frustrated with me. We were talking about something that was on going for two months. I was giving her bits and pieces. She asked a question. I'd go back into something I told her about 4 weeks before and talk about that. She asked another question. I fast forward to another conversation we had a week after the conversation that I went back into for the previous question she asked. Then I came back to the present. Confusing! Pieces of the puzzle were all over the … [Read more...]
How do you win the battle of will?
May 25, 2012 by
I love feeding my girls. They're 7 months old. They don't know what they're doing. It's a socio-science experiment. What will they like? What will they hate? Will they clamp their mouth shut? Will Ellie like one thing and Evie another? Jen and I treat every bite like it's fun and tasty. "Mmmmmm", "Yummmyyyyy", "Yaaaaaaay". We smile. We pretend like we're chewing and swallowing. I learned quickly that it's not about them eating the food. It's about enjoying the experience of … [Read more...]
Step away from the elephant
March 23, 2012 by
I found myself standing in front of a grey wall. I felt like I encountered an insurmountable obstacle. Then I reached out to to the wall. Odd, it's rough and warm. I look around. I step away. I see an elephant. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. First, you need to know you have elephant to eat. Sometimes we get to close. We lose perspective. We get lost in the perspective.. Step away from the elephant. Then pick your first bite. Related articles On … [Read more...]
How amazing is your grace?
January 24, 2012 by
Familiarity breeds contempt. Spend more time with someone and you'll get jaded. You'll take things for granted, and get angry over smaller things. Hot buttons will emerge. They'll be easier to punch as time goes on. This is probably why marriage can be so hard. It's easier to forgive the waitress who screwed up your food order than it is the wife who forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste ... again. Grace doesn't dwell well in a world of presumed outcomes. We force grace out of … [Read more...]
