More people are watching porn than ever before. A recent poll showed that 79% of people are consuming porn nowadays. It was in the 30% range in 1983. The studies also show people are having less sex. They are masturbating more. We are a lazy species. We will do the thing that costs us the least. Contact and direct interaction are expensive. They require real-time emotional engagement. They require processing of non-verbal nuance. They require empathy and awareness. This is one … [Read more...]
How nourishing is your life?
Ellie, the younger twin, was fighting the bottle. She'd take the nipple. Chew and suck. Then spit out milk and pout. It was frustrating. Jen took her. Ten minutes later the bottle was emptied. I asked Jen what she did to make Ellie eat. She told me. I barely believed her. She did it again the next time. It worked. And it still does. Jen encouraged Ellie. She'd tell her in a sweet voice how good she was being and what a good little eater she was. Ellie ate. No … [Read more...]
How are you preparing for the parade?
We looked at each other. The babies crying in the background. "Should we respond?" We created a routine to help the babies learn to sleep. Sometimes that meant letting them cry for a few minutes. It was hard. Very hard. On Christmas Eve, we woke up. The babies slept through the night. 9 weeks old (5 weeks based on full term). Mission accomplished! I'd mention we wanted the babies to sleep through the night as our Christmas present. People would scoff at me. They told me I … [Read more...]
All I want for Christmas is…
Jen's whispered, "C'mon. It's time to feed the babies." All I want for Christmas is for my babies to sleep through the night. I've told so many people that my Christmas present would be the twins sleeping through the night. These were typical responses: "Keep dreaming...." "My babies are a year old. They still don't sleep through the night." "That's not going to happen." "Good luck with that..." Not encouraging words. They're actually the complete opposite. The people … [Read more...]
What do you HAVE to do?
A friend of mine had a rough week recently. Here was the week in no particular order: Lost parent Made arrangements for funeral Drove 4+ hours to the funeral Went through/packed the parent's things Drove 4+ hours back Co-conducted a 4 day intensive seminar Visited with clients Decorated/furnished new business offices Shut down/moved her old business office That's a hell of week. I'm sure there are details I missed. I had dinner and beer with them last night. At some … [Read more...]
Conceiving the inconceivable
In 10 minutes, I'll be driving my wife to deliver our twins. I don't have any kids yet. I can't imagine what it will be like ... other than sleepless for a couple of months. I don't know what the experience of deliver will be like. I don't know what it will be like to hold them for the first time. I don't know the sense of responsibility I will feel when I meet my children. Jen and I launched this baby business around 12 months ago. We decided to see a doctor to make this happen. We … [Read more...]
Where’s your resume?
I work with people to help them manage change. When things go well, they produce results that they weren't able to produce on their own. This is a common outcome. I speak to many clients who want to leave their job. Their obstacle: Their resume isn't ready. They'll wallow in misery rather than write their resume. Meanwhile they deliver "Less than" results for the people they work for. This may last weeks, months or years. Disengagement is contagious. It needs to … [Read more...]
Are you a champion?
I hear bad advice a lot. The most common I people tell each other is "You should just do 'insert action'." You don't ask your infant to walk when they can't even crawl. Why do we ask adults to do things that they haven't demonstrated an ability to do? Just because you know how to walk doesn't mean the person you're trying help does. Telling them to walk produces one thing. Frustration. You're frustrated with them for not listening. They're frustrated with themselves for being stuck or … [Read more...]