I talked to Rob about what was about to happen. He is excited. His daughter is moving on. He mentions Sandy, his wife, is having a hard time with the impending transition. Over half a dozen kids we know are moving to different cities this week. They are headed off to college. Some parents we know are beside themselves with anxiety and grief. Others are overjoyed. Jen listed their names. We've known these kids for years. We've watched as they showed the slipperiness of time. The way … [Read more...]
A Hot and Happy Mother’s Day
May 16, 2018 by
Mother's Day started at 3:41 am. "Eric, the air conditioner isn't blowing cold air." Jen and I get up. We walk through the house. I fumble with the thermostat. Jen checks outside to see if the unit is freezing (that happened a few years ago). We don't find anything wrong. I'm tired and frustrated. "What am I supposed to do to fix this at 3:41 am?", I think to myself. My lack of HVAC competency increases my irritability. Latent insecurity belies a lousy attitude. Powerless to … [Read more...]
Don’t Feel Like It? Do It Anyway!
April 17, 2018 by
"You don't get what you want by doing what you want," I told her. This might be a bit advanced for a six-year-old. This is the hand my kids were dealt. A dad who speaks in platitudes. A dad who tries to program his kids with a way of thinking that makes their life easier in the long run by doing what's hard in the short run. Sometimes I have to listen to my own advice. I wrote about what I learned about smiling last week. This weekend, I learned I need to persist when I don't feel like it. I … [Read more...]
3 Reasons You Suck With Boundaries
April 3, 2018 by
Jen looked across at me, listening patiently. A homeless guy rides by on the street behind us on a rental bike. The teachers from the local art magnet school are chattering at the next table. The sun shines. It's 72 degrees. The day is perfect despite either a hangover, restless sleep or both. It's our 10th anniversary. We reflect on where we are and where we're going. The annual talk about vision and mission come up. We spend an hour talking about it. It could have been an hour … [Read more...]
The Cost of Growing Up
March 15, 2018 by
I leaned over and put my face in front of hers. I looked her in the eyes. I told her, "I miss you." She lit up. Evie's one of my 6-year-old girls. She showed me on a calendar that she was off school next week (Spring Break). She talked about us spending more time together next week. I said, I'm working next week, but I'll be around more and we can spend more time together. She said, "You're the best daddy ever." I told her I was sorry I wasn't seeing more of her. I'm working a … [Read more...]
Are You Free? The Captivity of Choice
April 29, 2016 by
I spent 2 days in Huntsville. Standing on concrete. Hands through the bars that secure 7'x9' rooms containing two bunks, a small seat and a steel toilet. I heard stories from men in their 20s through their 80s. Black, latino, white. All putting their faith ... possibly in blind desperation ... in God. A Vietnam vet who claims innocence. A recurring petty criminal. A man who made a mistake in judgement and is desperate to restore what is probably already lost. I sat in the mess hall. … [Read more...]
The Top Reason Your 3 Year Old Is Terrible
November 21, 2014 by
http://gty.im/185664072 She was writhing naked around on the bed. She was excited with a huge smile on her face. My heart rate was rising. We had to be somewhere in 20 minutes. We were running out of time. She didn't care. I was frustrated. She wouldn't cooperate. Why would she? I was cramming her into a modern construct that is meaningless from a biological evolutionary perspective. 3 year olds show us how we've gone astray in our attempts to scale and find meaning. Jen, … [Read more...]
4 Types of People, 2 Get Things Done – Which are you?
February 17, 2014 by
There were two girls climbing concrete ramps that run along the side of a set of stairs. They were 7 to 10 years old. One asks the mom to join her. The mom said, "No, that's for children." Doing silly things that might be a little dangerous, fun and/or make you stand out as a fool is for children? What's for adults? Being serious, fitting in, avoiding danger, risk or fun? I battle the urge to control my kids. I try not to tell them not to do things. Constantly, I see … [Read more...]
How Tired Are You, Really? 3 ways to know
December 11, 2013 by
On any given day of the week the alarm goes off. The alarm is either my phone or my kids. The first thought that floats on the cloudy surface of my mind is, "I'm so tired. I need a break". I haven't even started. Yet I need a break already? I go to the gym three days of the week. It's a group workout. I sign-up in advance. I groan when the alarm goes off. Then I roll out of bed. I have to be somewhere. Class starts at 6am. After my first set, I'm fired up. I get … [Read more...]
The Key To Going From Try to Do
October 28, 2013 by
Give someone 24 choices of jam... They'll taste a lot of them. They'll enjoy them. More often than not, they won't commit to them. They don't buy. 6 choices of jam and the commitment rate jumps. Many more buy with fewer choices We've bought into the lie that choice equals freedom. A diner offers a 12 page menu. You can choose from Hungarian goulash to spanikopitas to bagels and lox to burgers. It takes long to decide and you're likely to second guess your choice - - - … [Read more...]
