Steve asked his son, Stone, if he wanted to go and do something together. Stone said, "I can't. I'm busy." Steve went on about his business. Stone did, too. An opportunity to connect lost. We're all too busy. We all have a reason to keep doing what we're doing. The work in progress is uninterruptable. Our tendency is to assume that what we're doing now --- no matter what it is --- is too important to stop. Responding to e-mail. Creating a Powerpoint deck. Taking a … [Read more...]
The Rule of the Exception
October 18, 2013 by
I just wrote an email of encouragement to my wife, Jen. We started this habit 8 years ago. Once a week, on Wednesday, we email each other encouragement. There's enough encouragement to make a book. The encouragement is a great way for us to refocus on what we like about each other, love about each other and want for each other. It's a great way ... until that day that's too busy. Those times when I say to myself, I can't right now ... I'll get to it later. The days when I lay … [Read more...]
What’s the Best Time of Day to Water Tomatoes?
June 27, 2013 by
We pulled into the driveway. We got out of the truck and went to visit with our neighbors, who were in their driveway. Jen said, "The tomato plant is drooping. Looks like it needs water." I went to the hose, turned it on, dragged it over and started watering. It was the middle of the day. Heat was at peak. A new conversation started. "Is this the best time to water the tomatoes?" "It's pretty hot." "I think you're supposed to water it in the morning or night." I … [Read more...]
Learn This Easy Magic Trick. It’s quick!
June 24, 2013 by
I walked in the door to the office this morning. Joe, the security guard, waved and smiled. I caught him in the corner of my eye, over my shoulder. I turned and waved back. A smile crossed my face. I realized this was a ritual that started my day with pleasure. It was small. But valued. I stopped, turned around, and walked to Joe. I opened the glass door to the small reception area where Joe sits. I told Joe how much I appreciated his wave and smile in the morning. I … [Read more...]
Lost in Distraction: Do you have blinders on?
June 11, 2013 by
Donald asked me a question. He's working on a project scheduled to complete in the next 5 weeks. I started to answer his question. Then I went on. I told him about stuff happening in 8, 10, 16 weeks from now. Don asked a follow-up question ... he was confused. Don was thinking only in terms of the June project. I screwed up. I confused him by showing him a picture broader than he was looking for. The only thing he cared about was the June project delivery. Don had blinders … [Read more...]
This Test Is Pass/Fail. Do You Pass This Test?
May 22, 2013 by
I've asked a lot people if they want a more significant and meaningful life. Every person I ask says 'Yes'. They may be lying. After all, it's a loaded question. Who really wants to tell someone, "Eh, I really don't give shit ... I'm good enough." Or they may be answering from the core of their soul. Looking at how people live tells me it might be somewhere in between. Or they just don't know how. At least not consistently. What about you? How do you qualify yourself? What … [Read more...]
Can you afford ‘No’?
April 29, 2013 by
Hierarchical leadership is a permission machine. The machine is primed to respond with "No". People's work becomes figuring out how to override the default response ... moving the machine to "Yes". And then doing it again. And again. Working with the mysterious machine to get permission to move things forward. Managers might exist simply to push at the levers ... trying for the right combination to produce a "Yes". Other managers might exist simply to increase the volume … [Read more...]
What We Frequent Becomes Our Frequency
March 28, 2013 by
George, a rebel pastor I know talks about how we talk in terms of, "When I have X (Money, House, Car, Spouse) , then I'll do Y (Start a business, go to school, have a baby) and then I'll be happy." He turns it on its head. "When I am happy, then I'll do Y, then I will have X." What we frequent becomes our frequency. A tuning fork vibrates when it is struck by the frequency its tuned to. We are like adaptive tuning forks. We vibrate at the frequency of what we are surrounded … [Read more...]
Are you connected enough?
March 11, 2013 by
It seems the more people we connect with the less there is of us to go around. I start with the default answer of 'No' when a friend asks me to do something. I check my calendar. Then I offer a date 3 weeks in the future. Am I free now? Yes. But I have a false notion of obligation. I feel so little control over my time that I hoard the time I can control. I then squander the time I hoarded instead of spending it wisely ... by saying yes to my friend. It seems we … [Read more...]
A quick way to kick ass
January 29, 2013 by
I was late. Again. The bruises on my ass sore from me kicking itagain. If my shower was shorter. If I hasn't taken my timeshaving. If I hadn't hit snooze. I would be there.A word whispered in my ear. "You are here." I was in my car. Driving. Alone. No where else. No matter where you'd rather be - you are here. Fighting that realityis an invitation. For guilt, frustration and dissatisfaction.I sit at the light. The clock strikes the time I wanted toarrive. The traffic at the next light … [Read more...]
