I stepped out of the house through the screen door on to the front steps. "Daddy do you want to play ball with us?" asked one of my twin 6-year-olds, Evie. I answered, "Of course!" I walked on to the lawn. It was the first time we'd all been outside playing together. Evie jumped jubilantly. She cried out, "Hooray! We're having family time!!!" The girls are at an age where they can start interacting like real people when they're not talking about poop. It's fun. It's rewarding. Too … [Read more...]
Don’t Feel Like It? Do It Anyway!
April 17, 2018 by
"You don't get what you want by doing what you want," I told her. This might be a bit advanced for a six-year-old. This is the hand my kids were dealt. A dad who speaks in platitudes. A dad who tries to program his kids with a way of thinking that makes their life easier in the long run by doing what's hard in the short run. Sometimes I have to listen to my own advice. I wrote about what I learned about smiling last week. This weekend, I learned I need to persist when I don't feel like it. I … [Read more...]
3 Reasons You Suck With Boundaries
April 3, 2018 by
Jen looked across at me, listening patiently. A homeless guy rides by on the street behind us on a rental bike. The teachers from the local art magnet school are chattering at the next table. The sun shines. It's 72 degrees. The day is perfect despite either a hangover, restless sleep or both. It's our 10th anniversary. We reflect on where we are and where we're going. The annual talk about vision and mission come up. We spend an hour talking about it. It could have been an hour … [Read more...]
The Cost of Growing Up
March 15, 2018 by
I leaned over and put my face in front of hers. I looked her in the eyes. I told her, "I miss you." She lit up. Evie's one of my 6-year-old girls. She showed me on a calendar that she was off school next week (Spring Break). She talked about us spending more time together next week. I said, I'm working next week, but I'll be around more and we can spend more time together. She said, "You're the best daddy ever." I told her I was sorry I wasn't seeing more of her. I'm working a … [Read more...]
Change Is Gonna Come
September 1, 2017 by
I read the quote nearly every day. It dangles at the bottom of his emails. Each time I read it, I feel a flush of regret of the inertia in the past and present; the dread of a future where the truth of the quote compounds with interest. The quote reads: "Every day you don’t do something, it makes it less likely that you will ever do something." What gets in the way of the doing something is either a lack of clarity of purpose or a lack of faith. Some may be uncomfortable with the … [Read more...]
4 Types of People, 2 Get Things Done – Which are you?
February 17, 2014 by
There were two girls climbing concrete ramps that run along the side of a set of stairs. They were 7 to 10 years old. One asks the mom to join her. The mom said, "No, that's for children." Doing silly things that might be a little dangerous, fun and/or make you stand out as a fool is for children? What's for adults? Being serious, fitting in, avoiding danger, risk or fun? I battle the urge to control my kids. I try not to tell them not to do things. Constantly, I see … [Read more...]
The Number 1 Reason You’ll Go Off Track
November 26, 2013 by
I headed for the airport. I kicked myself in the ass as I went. I didn't accomplish what I intended to at the conference. There were several people I intended on connecting with. Relationships I wanted to build. I didn't connect with any of them. A wasted trip. I could have put time on calendars, setup appointments. I could have written specific goals before going. I didn't. I just showed up. The conference had a set agenda that took two full days. No room for my plans. Without setting my own … [Read more...]
The Key To Going From Try to Do
October 28, 2013 by
Give someone 24 choices of jam... They'll taste a lot of them. They'll enjoy them. More often than not, they won't commit to them. They don't buy. 6 choices of jam and the commitment rate jumps. Many more buy with fewer choices We've bought into the lie that choice equals freedom. A diner offers a 12 page menu. You can choose from Hungarian goulash to spanikopitas to bagels and lox to burgers. It takes long to decide and you're likely to second guess your choice - - - … [Read more...]
What We Frequent Becomes Our Frequency
March 28, 2013 by
George, a rebel pastor I know talks about how we talk in terms of, "When I have X (Money, House, Car, Spouse) , then I'll do Y (Start a business, go to school, have a baby) and then I'll be happy." He turns it on its head. "When I am happy, then I'll do Y, then I will have X." What we frequent becomes our frequency. A tuning fork vibrates when it is struck by the frequency its tuned to. We are like adaptive tuning forks. We vibrate at the frequency of what we are surrounded … [Read more...]
Want More Success? You’ll Have To Do This 1 Thing
March 14, 2013 by
Will said, "They won't do it! Have you read Sven's email. He said 'No.'" I asked Will, "Have you spoken to them?" "No." I Instant Message Sven. I bring up the situation, apologize for any way we miscommunicated in the past, and ask when there'd be a good time to chat. Sven sent his phone number. We had a quick conversation and set up a meeting with a couple of other folks from his team. Sven's "No" turned to "Maybe." Two more conversations and we got to "Yes." We … [Read more...]
